


if you're ready like i'm ready

by spacenarwhal



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, M/M, relationship chicken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:56:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5405555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacenarwhal/pseuds/spacenarwhal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So someone (read: Matt) says something smug and stupid like, “Gonna put your money where your mouth is Franklin?” And because Matt only ever pulls the full name card when he is purposely trying to get a rise out of Foggy, Foggy slaps both his hands down on the sticky and questionable surface of the bar (and gets the biggest stink eye in the world from Josie). “Damn right I am."</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you're ready like i'm ready

The thing is Foggy is 98.9 percent sure it all starts as a joke. 

Or is it a bet? No wait it starts as a dare.

Yeah. Totally a dare. Because, as Karen likes to remind them whenever she gets the chance, they’re worse than children. Personally Foggy prefers the term competitive shits, and Matt points out they’re not mutually exclusive terms because Matt has probably been making his peers cry over games of Uno since he was born. Add alcohol to the mix? Instant recipe for success. Or disaster. 

Either way there is definitely going to be a story to tell. 

-

So someone (read: Matt) says something smug and stupid like, “Gonna put your money where your mouth is Franklin?” And because Matt only ever pulls the full name card when he is purposely trying to get a rise out of Foggy, Foggy slaps both his hands down on the sticky and questionable surface of the bar (and gets the biggest stink eye in the world from Josie). “Damn right I am.”

“Oh no,” Karen groans when she comes back from the bathroom and finds them both fighting their coats, “What did I miss?”

-

Brett is not happy. “You want me to do what?” 

Matt is standing ramrod straight and trying to look respectable. He’d be way more successful if his hair wasn’t sticking up with static from the beanie Foggy had shoved on his head when they set out from the bar. Foggy is having a significantly harder time with the whole standing thing right now. The eel is starting to fight back. “Dude you still have your old gym sweats?” Foggy asks, face scrunched with incredulity at the peeling but still recognizable logo of their high school on Brett’s hip. 

Brett looks right pass both of them at Karen who has been radiating an aura of judgement and disappointment since they got in the cab. “Are they drunk?”

“Her testimony isn’t admissible. _Inadmissible_. She’s impaired too.” Foggy exclaims triumphantly and Karen actually laughs so she can’t be too upset with them for not letting her finish her drink. “Now, are you our man or not Mahoney?”

Brett looks at Foggy with all the derision of a man who has never gotten over the time he was talked into sticking a roly-poly up his nose on the schoolyard. “This can’t be legal.” He says dourly. 

Matt, like the total boy scout he never was, reaches into his jacket and produces the piece of paper they affectively sold their souls and livelihoods to Judge Yancey in order to get after hours. Foggy makes a note to send her some flowers on Monday. 

“O ye of little faith.” Foggy sighs with faux solemnity. Brett shakes his head even as he lets them in. 

-

Brett’s apartment is cleaner than Foggy’s and looks less depressingly empty than Matt’s so Foggy congratulates himself for his excellent thinking. “I am the best.” He announces happily, and Brett snorts, coming back into the living room wearing jeans and a sweater. It’s not exactly black tie but Foggy’s never been that big on the penguin look anyway. 

“I’d ask what Murdock sees in you but I don’t want to give either of you the satisfaction.”

Matt, heroic vigilante of the night and defender of the downtrodden, giggles. 

Brett looks vaguely mortified. “Next time some asks me to officiate their wedding I’m just gonna say no.” 

-

They rearrange the furniture a little so that there’s more room and Brett’s expression cycles through annoyance, amusement, and disbelief a couple of times before they’re ready to get started. 

“Lay it on us dude.” Foggy says, not entirely in control of the volume of his voice and Matt laughs again, presses a palm over Foggy’s mouth with an exaggerated shushing noise. Foggy licks Matt’s palm. It’s saltier than Foggy expects. “Gross.” He complains and Matt sticks his tongue out. 

Brett clears his throat to get them back on track but then he’s being interrupted again. 

“Wait, wait, not yet!” Karen starts, voice panicked, and Foggy turns to her, afraid she’s objecting—he’s pretty sure that doesn’t come until later. Also how dare she?—but she’s just throwing her phone down on the couch with a stricken expression. “My storage is full,” She says by way of explanation, “I need someone’s phone.”

Matt hands over his phone and Foggy listens to the tiny robot lady narrating Karen’s every move. “ _Camera. Video. Recording._ ”

“Okay, Go.” Karen says, holding the phone up in the direction of Foggy, Matt, and Brett. Brett’s mouth twists with disbelief. “Really?”

Foggy smiles widely at Karen and turns towards Matt, grabbing his hand, “Get ready Murdock, I’m about to marry the fuck out of you.”

Brett cackles. “Oh my god. Nelson, please let me be there when your mom watches this video and I promise not to give you shit for waking me up in the middle of the night to marry your drunk asses.”

(Later, Foggy will watch the shaky footage and maintain he never actually agreed to it.)

-

This is what Foggy ultimately remembers: Matt's hand in his, Karen's laughter when Foggy quotes Sondheim in his vows, and Matt's smile against his lips when Brett pronounces them married. 

-

“That was sort of anticlimactic.” Matt says quietly, leaning against Foggy on Brett’s couch. Karen’s sleeping in the armchair across from them. Brett told them to clear out but then just went back to sleep himself so Foggy doesn’t think he was serious. 

The eel has sunk back into its murky depths and Foggy’s head is heavier now but clearer too. “I think you get enough excitement during your extracurricular activities.” He mumbles, throwing an arm up over Matt shoulders. He keeps waiting for it to hit, some sort of delayed horror over the fact that he just got Brett to marry them. In a living room. 

“We can still have the church wedding. I know it was something you wanted.” Foggy says gently, and Matt tilts his head. “Maybe. Later.”

Foggy nods, “We’ll throw a party. Release some doves.”

Matt wrinkles his nose. “Might as well be pigeons. They all smell the same.”

“Okay we’ll lose the doves. But we’ll definitely have cake. A big one.”

Matt nods. “Cake is good.”

Matt takes Foggy’s hand, runs his fingers across Foggy’s knuckles. “I should probably buy you a ring.”

“If you like it.”

Matt butts his head against Foggy’s shoulder. “That was terrible.”

-

He wakes up with a serious crick in his neck and Matt slumped over his lap. Karen is still sprawled over the armchair, half her limbs hanging off it. 

Foggy looks down at the sleeping mess of a man he promised his life to last night (among other things. “Fuck my parents can never see this. Never—I’m serious, I’ll never be able to look them in the eye. Stop laughing Matthew or I’m divorcing you right now.”).

Brett is already up, standing in his kitchen and looking out at them like he’s not entirely sure they’re real. 

Foggy hopes there’s coffee.

-

The End 

**Author's Note:**

> This is what finals have driven me to. This is borderline crack fic? 
> 
> Title from Marry You by Bruno Mars.


End file.
